sweethearts

tomorrow is valentine's day already.

this is one occasion where i have to rack my brains to think of ideas as to what gift and how will i give it to nelo. for the past years, he's always upped the ante with his endless "gimmicks." remember his gift last year [my sweet valentine]? and how about the year before that [heart, heart, heart]?

let's see what will happen this year. i'll be out tomorrow for a little scrappy afternoon and we'll have dinner afterwards. i'm "worried" of what he might be able to cook up in that almost 5 hours of alone time. lol!

well i've already bought my gift. i now have to think of a way of giving it to him and adding a little oomph to it. i think i better do a little research for some ideas. i still have a few hours to think of something.

in the meantine, here's a layout of the two of us (what else is new! lol!).

journal:

Valentine's day is just a few days away. It's one of those occasions that I look forward to because of the little surprises you always seem to pull out year in and year out since we've been together. I love how Valentine's reminds us of how much love we give to each other. I know we give love to each other everyday, but it just seem even more sweeter around this time. I hope we continue to be this sweet and loving as a couple. May we never grow tired of this day every year of our lives. I love you.

materials used: patterned papers - pink paislee, webster's pages, imagination project, sassafrass lass; journaling pad - making memories; chipboard - fancy pants (heart), american crafts (alpha); stamps - autumn leaves; rub-ons - daisy d's; ink - brilliance, autumn leaves; transparency - hambly; spiral clip - joann's

btw, this is a layout for challenge 50 over at journaling junkie. do join the february challenges. prize for this month is a gdt stint in march for journaling junkie.

happy weekend!

best boyfriend

this is a photo of nelo i took at seattle's coffee over at eastwood. they had these "lines" on their glass walls with different descriptions and i told nelo to stand below one.

he really looked oh so cute standing there telling me to rush taking the photo. he was getting shy standing there already. lol!

well, this photo was begging to be scrapped but i was only able to do so during the holiday break. i'm so happy that i was also able to use my "old" papers for this, including that grungeboard.

title: best boyfriend

subtitle: oh so true that's why i married you

journal: you really are the best for me. you are the man that was meant for me. our relationship then was not perfect, but it was the best. love you! (june 2008)

Materials used: Patterned Paper - KI Memories, Bam Pop, Scenic Route; Chipboard - KI Memories, Tim Holtz; Journal Die-Cut - Luxe Design; Alpha - Heidi Swapp, Making Memories; Ink - ColorBox, VersaMagic; Pen - Sakura; Rub-On - Creative Imaginations

sketch by becky fleck, from backporchmemories.com

life's changes

a lot of changes have been happening in our life for the past 6 months. eversince we've decided to have our house built, it has been a roller coaster of emotions for all of us. i'm sure if you've been in my shoes, you'll agree with me that building a house is no easy feat.

a lot of financial adjustments had to be made. tempers flaring up and worries increasing at certain times out of frustration and the desire to have everything built on time. tons of calls to institutions just to make sure that they approve and fast track processing of forms. the unspoken worries of what might happen if we're not able to meet schedules from suppliers. a lot of other things happening along the way.

at times when we thought we've ran out of options, god guides us to a different path. he shows us to roads which we never thought were there. we are much thankful to families and friends who have been open and willing enough to help us out with our concerns.

there are still a lot of things to finish and completion is still far from happeniing. but we're getting there, slowly but surely.

it's already been 8 months since we embarked on this journey. we're hoping that we'll have 90% completion by end of september. the percentage of completion is subjective. a lot has yet to be finished really. but we are hopeful. we have to be. that is the only way we can motivate and push ourselves.

at this point, we keep on reminding ourselves that this is for our future. if we do not do this now, then when? we haven't forgotten our desire to try building our family. but for now, when we still can, we will first prepare the foundation. eventually, god willing, he will grant us a baby once more. probably it is right, all in due time. for now, there are other priorities. and we will keep our focus on that.

we continue to pray that he guide us to the right path. we need his guidance and we need to believe, we need to be strong and strengthen our faith.

my sweet valentine

nelo outdid himself once more this valentine's day.

you see, in our relationship, my husband has gained the reputation of coming up with surprises for me at the least expected moments.

there was the time he formally courted me, not by saying it directly but rather by asking me to open the car's glove compartment and asking me to get something from there. clueless me did open it and found instead a box with a note on top asking me to be his girlfriend and giving me his first gift ever.

then there was the time he gave me a card for our anniversary and for someone who doesn't like to write love letters, it was such a sweet expression of his love.

then there was valentine's of last year when instead of giving me directly his gift, he asked me to pick from a set of papers with matching consequences.

and there was the poem he composed during our anniversary last year about our life being like rainbows.
this year, he surpassed his sweet little antics once more...

the first gift was a duplicate key to our car. the one i've been nagging him about after 2 incidences of being locked out of the car and him not having a spare key. the key was given to me hanging from a single red rose and beside a cupcake with matching heart icing.

the next one was given after we parked the car to have coffee & dessert. it was the special edition starbucks bear that he knew i like so much.

third, and the best gift of all, was given to me while we were having coffee. it was a little pink envelope he passed on to me. as i opened it, i was grinning from ear to ear as i read through each of the coupons inside. there were 12 coupons in the envelope, each had a corresponding item which i can claim from him every month! oh my gosh! i was so happy with that sweet little gift! it was the best really. and you can see that he really thought about the gift! i was in cloud 9 after that.

i was still giddy the following day as i shared the story to some of my officemates and even to my scrapbook friends over the weekend.

it really was one of my best valentine's day ever! love you love!

post christmas thoughts

christmas was a roller coaster of emotions for me.

for one, i was so busy with work the weekend before christmas. and, that work also triggered an emotional breakdown fro me this holiday.

i had to attend a tvc shoot for one of our clients last friday. in one of the set-up which was done in a hospital, one of our talents was supposed to be a mom crying over her kid who was extremely sick. in that scene and the succeeding ones, our talent was crying inconsolably. it was not just acting, it was pure, raw emotion coming out from her.

apparently, her 16-yr old son passed away last year in a car accident. she was in the u.s when it happened and she wasn't able to reach her son alive anymore. the kid was in coma for 24 hours and passed away after that. unfortunately, the mom wasn't wable to arrive on time anymore to even say goodbye to him.

and so, as we are shooting that scene in the hospital, she was so filled with emotion that she couldn't control her tears. when i spoke to her after that, she said it was like re-living that scene with her son. she said she was it was like the lord placed her on that spot to let her "experience" the last minutes of her son through that scene. it was a heart wrenching scene to see her cry during that time.

admittedly, i wasn't too emotional that night as i was watching her. but i do know what she was going through, having lost my baby as well.

i remember vividly what she said, losing a kid whether at 16 yrs old, in her case, or at 10 days old, like in my case is basically the same -- you lost a kid. and no matter their age, the pain of loss is the same. she also said that, when people tell her that, now at least you have an angel, she tells them, "i don't want an angel! i want him to be here with me."

those words made a mark on my soul. i didn't feel it much that night i was talking to her. but the following day, as i was alone with my husband, the emotion of what i've heard and seen from her just hit me. the pain of my own loss and the longing for my lost child was just too much to bear once more. she was right, i'd rather have my baby here that to have an angel up there.

all the emotions i was feeling just welled up. and i was crying my heart out. it was hard to breathe but i know i have to let my emotions out. it was the only way i can let go of what i was feeling inside of me.

after that episode, it was back to the hustle and bustle of preparing gifts for our family.

last minute shopping and preparing our gifts occupied most of our thoughts after that. christmas eve was spent with my tita and cousins, which has been our yearly tradition. though times have changed, most of my cousins were not there to spend christmas with my tita, we all still try to maintain that tradition. it was fun to see my nieces and nephews opening up their gifts and enjoying the simple pleasures that you can only see in a kids' eyes this christmas.

after that, it was back to my hubby's place to spend christmas with my in-laws.

christmas day was spent attending church and having lunch with my in-laws. we went to my mom's place first then after that, hubby and i went out for our "me" time with each other. we spent it in the mall at market market & serendra. we had fun just goofing around and enjoying our little time together.

that evening, it was back to my emotional roller coaster. i was once again feeling the deep sadness of not having raya with us. it is in these times that i feel this kind of pain and longing next to her birth month. it is still hard to let go of the pain. the journey to total healing is still rough. but i know that i will get there. when, i have no idea. but i am hopeful and i pray that he guides me towards that direction.

and so, christmas has made its mark in our lives once more.

now, we look forward to another year. in a few days, 2007 will be beyond us and we look forward to 2008. that will be another reflection in itself...

rainbow

this is the letter he gave me last night. he rarely writes love letters but when he does, it always melts me. how could you not love him even more with this one...

the month of may

this month holds a lot of significance in our lives.

this is the month when we got married, may 29, today to be exact. we are now celebrating our 3rd year anniversary. it just seemed like yesterday when we started planning for our wedding. it was our dream wedding. i'd like to say it was simple and yet elegant. no major glitches and everything went almost perfectly well. i woulnd't change anything about that wedding if i were to repeat the experience. it was celebrated with much love and support from our families and friends.

the 3 years of marriage has passed with a lot of love and 1 major heartache for both of us. still, we've persevered and emerged from that stronger somehow. i pray for more years of being together for us. more years of love and strength to face life and all that it has to offer.

the month of may...

this is also the month when i became a mother (and we became a family) and gave birth to our daughter raya in may 13, 2005. it was one of the happiest days of our life. but it was shortlived.

ten days later, may 23, our baby passed away and joined the lord to be his angel. it was the saddest day of our lives. it has left a dark mark in our hearts that will last forever. the healing is long and painful. but we have somehow moved on.

the month of may truly holds the best and saddest part of our lives. still, these things are what makes me & nelo stronger. it is going through these things together that have made us love each other even more. we are each other's strength. we are each other's happiness. and we will be each other's love for always.

just a thought

i'm busy doing yet another layout for our e-zine's deadline and, yet again, i am scrapping photos of nelo & me.

people are probably getting tired of seeing our faces in most of my layouts! lol!

but seriously, they probably are.

still, that won't stop me from scrapping our endless photos together. i still have tons of those waiting to make their way into my scrapbook layouts.

thinking about it, all the more that i long for the moment when i can be able to scrap photos of my own kids.

not that i don't like making layouts featuring my nieces. i love doing layouts for them. but it's different when it's your own kids' photos.

this feeling usually crops up a lot especially when raya's birthday nears. she would be two years old next month, supposedly. i have photos of her with me, but i am not yet ready to place them in a scrapbook album. the pain of her loss is still great. no amount of time can actually erase that pain easily.

at any rate, i still have the man i've chosen to live my life with till the end to scrapbook for. i am happy as it is scrapbooking our countless photos.

until the day that another baby comes our way, well you all just have to contend with our faces in my scrapbook pages for now. smile!

twogether

this is my interpretation for the april challenge at scrapbytes. i wasn't able to finish up a layout before the upload so i tried ro finish it tonight. it's really good to be able to finish layouts which should have been scrapped last year.

journal (behind 2nd photo): another year spent with you.another year i look forward to.i want to spend each day with you knowing that you will be there for me, always. through the good and bad times, our love will be each other's strength. the two of us always together.

2nd year anniversary, may 29, 2006



materials used: mme pp; chipboard: fancy pants & scenic route; mm paint & brads; stamps: lil davis & autumn leaves; others: heart & flower metal, lace, burlap ribbon

happy birthday love!

as you turn another year older, i am grateful for having met you and being part of your life. we've been through tough times and you have been my anchor, making sure that i am able to hang on. your continued faith in what is still to come uplifts my spirit. i know what your heart desires right now. we've had her but he has other plans. as we wait for the day that another one will come, i wish you only the best coz i know you deserve it.

happy birthday love!

materials used: basic grey: patterend papers, mini-monograms, fibers; autumn leaves swirls 2 stamps; sakura aqualip pen, prima flowers; utee; sizzlits (&); dmc floss

heart, heart, heart

it's a day after happy "hearts" day and i love what i got from hubby! it was really a simple gift but the thought behind it and how he gave it to me was the best.

after picking me up from the office, he asked if i have a gift for him. i said no (but actually i have one but i hid it for the meantime). he said he has one for me but he has to park first. ok! i got excited about it, really! so we parked first and then he pulled out 4 strips of paper. he said i have to pick one if i want to get my gift. kilig moment!

so i pulled 1 strip, opened & read it. wrong one! it said i have to treat all of them (my family) to ice cream (and i can pick again). getting more excited at that time. i pulled another one and it now said, you deserve a kiss from your hubby (sweet!), and i get another chance. okay, now i'm really, really excited! i pulled the 3rd one and it said, congratulations! you get your gift from your hubby! woohoo!

he stepped out of the car and got the gift from the trunk. i opened it and i got my gift - a teddy bear! hahaha!

he is such a teaser! imagine going through a game first before being able to get your gift! how sweet indeed!

by the way, the last strip of paper that i didn't get said, i have to sing a love song to my hubby to get another chance. hahaha!

here's the gift i got from him and those strips of paper i picked.

we actually had a pre-valentine dinner already the weekend before valentine's day. we didn't want to join the mad rush to the restaurants. we had dinner at good earth at greenbelt3 and had coffee and dessert at starbucks after. we had fun and i felt more relaxed with that arrangement.

by the way, since hubby already topped the "gimmick list" when he did that pick-a prize thing for his valentine's day gift. i just gave him his gift when we got home. it was a pair of jeans and a pink polo shirt. first time he'll actually wear a shirt with that color. he looked cute in that new outfit!
it was one of the best valentine's celebration we've had.

love you, love.