hope

i have a renewed sense of hope today. and i truly pray that he will show us the light at the end of this long tunnel.

i just came from the ob (again) this morning. it was time again for her to check the effects of the clomid. based on the tvu, i have 2 mature eggs at the left side of my cervix. i was given a dose of (i forgot the name of the meds) via injection. according to them, it's supposed to help rupture my eggs. we now have to start doing our duty hoping that it will bear positive results. i'm scheduled again to go back to the clinic on wednesday just to check that everything is moving in the right path.

for the past months that i've been going back & forth to the ob. and every month, it's a negative result. no matter how i try, i have to be honest when i say that my hope is always diminished in every visit. i am only human. i cannot help it but i really feel the frustration at times.

and yet, i also know that i should just put my full trust in him. he probably has his own reasons, reasons that we do not know as well. still, my sadness and longing overpowers me also.

today, seeing those 2 eggs that could possibly be the start of a new life, i am re-awakened to the fact that there truly is hope in everything. hope that one day, our fervent wish will be answered. hope that we will once again be blessed with another angel who will be here with us.