is it christmas?

i can't seem to feel the spirit of christmas too much these days. until now, we are still here at the office finishing up last minute requirements for most of our pre-2007 projects. i've been out of the office half of the week and i feel stressed out already.

i wasn't able to plan for any of my christmas purchases and up to now, have not been able to buy anything at all!

there are only a few gifts under our christmas tree this year. if not for my mom who bought gifts for some of their regular clients, there wouldn't be any gift under that christmas tree.

i really don't know why it's like this this year. could it be because i went on an early vacation? or is it because i'm so pre-occupied with work? or is it beacuse the funds i was waiting for came too late this year?

whatever the reason is, i feel so pathetic. i shoouldn't be thinking this way but i really just can't help it.

i've never felt this bad about christmas ever.

christmas is supposed to be the season for joy and giving. how can i give to others when i don't even have the time to buy them even the littlest gift. how can i feel joy when all i can think of right now is the list of deadlines we have for our projects and client presentations next week.

it truly is sad.

but i do feel hope. i still have 2 days to make things work out and make this a merry christmas for me and my family. i pray that i will feel god's enlightnment on this season.

for now, i wish you all a merry christmas ahead...