until then...

a friend of mine from our egroup posted and shared this with me and a fellow member who also recently lost her baby.

i cried when i read this. i felt an overpowering rush of emotion as i read through the post. all the memories of my little raya just started flooding in once more. i remember the times when i would just suddenly cry and feel overwhelmed by her loss. the times when nelo will console me and tell me that raya was just visiting us.

i know raya is beside jesus and watches us. i know that she knows how much we love her. she knows the overflowing love i have for her. and, as the poem states she will wait for me by the gates of heaven when the time comes. and then i can once again hug her and tell her i love her...

I thought of you and close my eyes and prayed to God today
I asked what makes a mother, and I know I heard Him say,
"A mother has a baby, this we know is true"
But God can you be a mother, when your baby's not with you?
"Yes, you can," He replied, with confidence in His voice,
"I give many women babies, when they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime, and others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb, but there's no need to stay"
I just don't understand this God, I want my baby here.
He took a breath and cleared His throat, and then I saw a tear.
"I wish I could show you, what your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile, with other children and say...
"We go on earth to learn our lessons, of love and life and fear.
My mummy loved me so much, I got to come straight here
I feel so lucky to have a mum, who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly, my mummy set me free.
I miss my mummy oh so much, but I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep, on her pillows where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek, and whisper in her ear.
"Mummy, don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here"
So you see dear sweet one, your children are okay.
Your babies are here in My home, and this is where they will stay.
They'll wait for you with Me, until your lessons are through.
And on the day that you come home, they'll be at the gates for you.
So now you see what makes a mother, it's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of, right from the very start.
Though some on earth may not realize, until their time is done.
Remember all the love you have, and know that you are a special mum.